Health and safety in the workplace.

Yesterday, I felt like I was in The Office (the show).  Our “health and safety consultant” came in and assessed the safety of our workstations.  I declined an in-person assessment—I feel fairly confident that I can handle the danger level at my desk (though Claire versus clutter is a constant battle).  Bits from assessments that I eavesdropped:

-       Consultant: “Now show me how you normally sit in your chair.”  (Great opportunity to really freak the guy out.)

-       Consultant: “Did you know you could adjust the height of your chair?”

-       Other American Girl: “Oh my God, I get this lower back pain if I sit like this for too long.  Am I sitting the wrong way?  And I get this stiffness in my neck at around 4:00.  Do you think it’s my chair?”

So then today, everyone who declined the in-person assessment (this was most people) received an email containing a 10-page “Workstation Self-Assessment Checklist” which we are required to fill out and return.

...Maybe I should have opted for the in-person assessment.

Best part of self-assessment packet:

Proper way to sit...or naked man with laser vision???

"Before I do anything, I ask myself, 'Would an idiot do that?'  And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." 

—Dwight K. Schrute

Yesterday in sports.

Guess what, everyone.  LIVERPOOL BEAT MANCHESTER CITY 3-2 ON AGGREGATE YESTERDAY.  WHAT’S UP, MANCHESTER CITY. HOW ABOUT THAT AGGREGATE LOSS.  Yeah.  We take on Manchester United next.  The only thing I know about Manchester United is that they seem to be the cool team for American college kids to support.  The same kids that are like, ugh, Americans just aren’t sophisticated enough to appreciate real football.  ...Kick their ass, Liverpool.  Kick their ass.

In other news, I’m not really sure what aggregate means in terms of soccer.  But Yinka was happy this morning, all decked out in his Liverpool scarf and hat.  I’ll probably have to get me some of those soon.

Football, American and otherwise.

I am now a supporter of the Liverpool soccer/"football" team.  Yinka, my buddy the security guy, has been trying to get me to be a fan of Liverpool pretty much since I started work.  He was very sad this morning, as Liverpool lost over the weekend.  I told him I was sorry for his loss, but I couldn’t be too sad because my team, the Patriots, had won this weekend and were going to the Super Bowl (!!!!!!).  He said he would cheer for the Patriots as his American football team, if I would cheer for Liverpool as my Premier League football team.  Having little to no conviction about soccer, I figured I could manage this deal.  So Liverpool, you are my team.  And my dear Patriots, I have won you another fan.

Also, people from Liverpool are called Liverpudlians.  This is amusing.

We don't have a microwave.

And yet we were undeterred, even with a first attempt pre-pop burn.

If at first you don't succeed...

...def pop another batch.

For British Eyes Only.

For my new project at work (which I am enjoying about 39875 times more than my pre-Christmas project), I have to make a bunch of diagrams based on the map of the City of London.  So I’ve stared at the map of London for many hours and have traced many buildings, roads, pedestrian routes, bus routes, tube routes, open spaces, conservation areas, etc…lookie what I found, Arrested Development fans:

MR. F

It was raining this morning, which made it really difficult to get out of bed.  (I guess I also find it difficult to get out of bed when the sky is gray, when it’s dark, when it’s light, when it’s cold, when it’s hot…)  I stayed in bed till 8:30 (theoretically I should be at work at 9…)  So I was a little bit of a crazy trying to get out the door—scrambling to find my umbrella, my rain boots, my keys.  Somehow, I got out the door and into the steady rain.  You know that thing that happens in movies to people when they are already having a bad day, when there is that big puddle on the side of the road, and some inconsiderate car speeds through it, and a large wave of dirty street water comes up in slow motion and just totally gets that unfortunate person on the sidewalk?  Well, it happens in real life too, apparently.  Good thing I skipped taking a bath at home.  At least now I had an excuse for my gross hair.

I saw three dogs on public transportation today, all of which were extremely well behaved.  On the train this morning, this girl next to me was holding a three-month-old Staffordshire terrier puppy.  So so cute.  Staffordshire terriers are usually the dogs that you see led around on these big chain leashes by the scary hooded teenage boys here or by the scary hooded men those boys grow up to be.  This puppy was so cute though.  

I can’t imagine Daisy would take to public transportation very well, especially considering her complete loss of sanity at the sight of windshield wipers.  Poor Daisy.  The provincial life for her.

Catching up with the pup.

Disturbed.

“There are severe delays on the Victoria line due to a person under a train.  There is a good service on all other London Underground lines.”

Ughhh. 

("Person under a train" for some reason strikes me as an odd way to put that.)

Anyways, it took me a few months to realize that the announcement proclaiming “a good service running on all London Underground lines” was referring to the fact that all trains were running smoothly.  So that probably seems obvious to most people.  But, hearing the announcement one day, I suddenly realized that I had always thought I heard “a goods service running on all London Underground lines” and subconsciously imagined trains transporting goods (like grocery items) on the tube.  Apparently I never wondered why I had never seen one of these transports.  ......I’m gonna blame the weird way the word “good” is emphasized in that announcement—“there is a GOOD service”.......

(But really I just wonder if my brain works anymore.)

New neighbors.

It would seem that we have new neighbors moving into the evictees' apartment next door.  Fingers crossed they aren't convicted felons.