The curse of British teeth.

I regret to report that I believe I am developing British teeth.  You’ve probably heard of the “British people have bad teeth” phenomenon, but did you know that one could develop the condition simply by living in the UK?  I did not know this.  I was blissfully unaware.  I thought I could neglect my retainer just like I could in America.  Sure, it would hurt a little bit the first time I popped it in after a while of not wearing it, but it would fit.  NOT HERE.  Last night, while I pondered the terrible teeth of a British coworker (there must be about a quarter inch of space on either side of every tooth in his mouth...he just can’t have the same number of teeth that I do), I realized I hadn’t worn my retainer since Gum Graft II (an unfortunate procedure I had in late July).  I went to pop it in, but IT DID NOT FIT ON MY TEETH.  My teeth have moved too much.  I could kind of get it half on, but it hurt like hell.  I tried to sleep with it that way, hoping my teeth would move enough so I could get it all the way on eventually, but I woke up in the middle of the night with the retainer in my hand.  I’m going to try again tonight.  I will not come home with British teeth.

(I actually haven’t been overwhelmed by the number of people here with bad teeth.  But when I do find such people, I automatically think, “well that makes sense, you’re British.”  I can’t help it.  Sorry, British people.  Stereotypes are tough.  I know—I’m from Jersey.)